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Dec 05

Kratomite Shot Review

 

Kratomite Shot TL; DR: Kratomite Shot didn’t taste particularly pleasant. The slick packaging was impressive, but it didn’t measure up to any significant feeling of relaxation. The product’s label hyped its contents to proportions impossible to deliver. It was relaxing and mildly stimulating, but really nothing to rave about.

Upon opening the box of samples from superfuncave.com, the Kratomite Shot inside immediately stood out amongst the other drably-labeled products. Here was a neat little 3 fl. oz. bottle brightly festooned with red, green, and yellow flowing lines, with a bold “K” on the front of the label. It almost seemed to scream “DRINK ME”, like something out of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Would this stuff relax me, please me, or shrink me?

The instructions on the label were pretty unambiguous, stating that the entire contents of the 3 oz. bottle are intended as one full dose. The bottle’s label also listed numerous warnings about safe kratom use, advising me to avoid caffeine, alcohol, and so forth while taking kratom. The most eye-catching text on the bottle was the printing around the rim of the cap which read, “100% natural”, “100% potent”, “100% legal”, and “110% party”. Party, seriously? Through my experiences with kratom, I’ve learned that kratom is a lot of things, but certainly not a party drug. Leave it to unscrupulous marketing types to feed right into the worst fears of ban-happy legislators.

Even so, I couldn’t help but be impressed with the slick design on the label, and the creative choice of product name. I immediately imagined some humanoid alien crash-landing on Earth after the destruction of his home planet, discovering that Earth’s sun gave him superhuman powers and abilities, and then finding out that his only weakness was kratom(ite). Now, would this be the green Kratomite that saps the strength of Kratomians, or the red Kratomite that induced wacky and bizarre personality changes? I guess it was time to find out.

After peeling off the label, I was initially hesitant about pouring the whole bottle down the hatch at once, as recommended on the label’s instructions. Then again, I thought, my tolerance for chemically-similar foreign substances was once the stuff of local legend. What was the worst that could happen by taking the recommended 3 fluid ounces dose? I showed the bottom of the bottle the ceiling, guzzled its contents, and gah!  My face instantly screwed up in pure disgust. Even though I had shaken the bottle thoroughly before consuming, the sweet tea flavor didn’t dilute the potently bitter kratom flavor at all. The two flavors remained intact as I swallowed the liquid, though only the nasty bitterness lingered as an aftertaste. Keep in mind that this is coming from a guy who was in the habit of regularly chewing up his pain pills, with no complaints.

Kratomite Shot - Back of the bottle

Given my relative inexperience with kratom, I heeded the stern warning on the label to avoid mixing caffeine with my kratom. It had been at least six hours since my morning coffee when I chugged the shot. As is often the case on Sunday afternoons, I had loose ends from the previous workweek to catch up on. My fingers had been pounding away at the keyboard for about twenty minutes when I noticed the empty white shot bottle of kratom in the periphery, and realized I was supposed to be reviewing this stuff. Did I feel better, or any different? It was hard to tell. The pronounced relaxation and good-natured feeling I had experienced from Divinity Kratom caps I had taken two days prior certainly weren’t a placebo, but with this Kratomite shot, I wasn’t so sure. I was possibly more alert than usual, and I wasn’t feeling any of my familiar aches and pains, but I didn’t feel substantially different than before. Two hours later, there was no discernible change in my mood. Maybe it’s because I was subconsciously expecting an extra 10% “party” that failed to materialize.

It’s difficult to gauge the efficacy of Kratomite shots based on this experience. Most days of the week I’ve got at least a couple nagging pains that help ruin my day like cramped wrists/fingers from typing, headaches and backaches, but for whatever reason I wasn’t feeling said pains that day before drinking the shot, and I wasn’t feeling much (good or bad) after drinking it either. I guess since I wasn’t slouching in my desk chair after two hours, it could have had a slight stimulant effect, but in any case, it was nothing to write home about. Maybe two of these puppies could put a little more pep in my step, but at roughly $10 per, I can think of far more effective ways to achieve desired analgesic, stimulating, relaxing, and/or mood-enhancing effects for a similar amount of cash.

Pros:
Convenient method of taking kratom
Clear instructions and product information on the label
Mildly stimulating and relaxing

Cons:
Profoundly unpleasant taste
Far from the strongest kratom product out there

12 comments

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  1. Gail

    I have fibromyalgia and osteoartritis in my hands and feet. In a lot of pain most of the time can hardly walk feet are stiff and sore. The doctor put me on Tramadol which is supposed to me not addictive so wrong. I tried the Kratom extract and OMG what a difference I didn’t feel sleepy or drugged. The pain in my hands and feet was almost completely gone. I could walk without pain. Sooo I was really disapointed to read about it being opiate. I am going to try it for 2 weeks to see how I feel. And I am going to speak to my doctor about it. So thank you for the information

    Gail :)

  2. joe

    Who is the manufacturer of Kratomite?

  3. Ryan

    Omg yes there r long term effects to Kratom, to the ppl who said there arent. It contains a u-opioid agonist and effects the brain the same way as heroin would, the effects r not as strong tho but u will withdraw( get very sick) if u use it everyday and then stop!!

  4. mdhaigh58@gmail.com

    I bought a shot 3 oz 9.99 should have kept my money.

  5. john

    this shit is snake oil. if the drink doesn’t make your throat numb after about 10 mins from drinking it, then it’s not nearly strong enough. i’m pissed i just gave $11.99 to this shitty company. I’m waiting on my real shit from here http://www.naturalorganix.com/

  6. Peter

    I just tried one, found it at a local head shop. Pretty expensive at $10, but taste wasn’t nearly as bad as the reviewer described, in my opinion, and I certainly would never chew pain pills eww! I’m already feeling a little bit of a buzz… feels vaguely opiate-like, but also somewhat like Kava or having a beer or two/hit of MJ or two, so far.

  7. Tony

    Product: Kratomite – 3ml – shot: Just tried this for first time: cost vs. effects from product WAY overpriced should be about $3/per bottle at most, cost was 9.99+tax, time for effects is fairly accurate about 20mins, Took on empty stomach so no food interference, drank *all(whole bottle) at one time company doesn’t state amount of kratom in mg on bottle, reviews about *taste only* are too harsh, they do a fairly good job making product taste better because I’ve tried the leaf, powder and other forms of straight kratom before.

  8. Shauvan Atcitty

    aftre long term use is there any health side effects?

    1. Kratom_Lover

      There are no long term side effects of kratom, if you use it everyday you’ll build a tolerance, but that’s it and taking a break will return your tolerance to normal.

      1. DrChemical

        lol. There aren’t any long term side effects known because no long term research has been done on Kratom. That makes you guinea pigs. Let me know if you notice any changes,

        1. Natural_Solution

          The non-existence of research has nothing to do with the fact of the matter, only our confidence levels and FDA standing. The long historical use of kratom provides us with a mountain of anecdotal evidence. We’re hardly guinea pigs, at least no more than any group of people enjoying an herbal supplement that lacks supporting, longitudinal scientific evidence (e.g. most of them). In time there will be long term studies done for kratom, but don’t hold your breath. They can take a decade or longer.

      2. Ryan

        Yes there is long term side effects to kratom (mitraginine) is a opioid agonist more powful than morphine in pure form gram for gram. It has all the long term side effects as other opiate painkillers including withdraw. If u guys r buying brand name kratom yr getting ripped off. I used to but the leaf and make my own extract before I moved on to heroin and opium.

  1. Divinity Kratom Crushed Leaf Review

    [...] board threads, was that kratom isn’t exactly beloved for its taste. The pungent flavor of the Kratomite Shot I had tried seemed to lend credence to these claims. So there I was, with a 15g plastic canister of [...]

  2. Divinity Crushed Leaf Review

    [...] board threads, was that kratom isn’t exactly beloved for its taste. The pungent flavor of the Kratomite Shot I had tried seemed to lend credence to these claims. So there I was, with a 15g plastic canister of [...]

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