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Feb 06

Green Genie XL Red Vein Kratom Capsules Review

 

Green Genie XL Red Vein Kratom CapsulesTL; DR: I can’t find much information on this brand online, and the domain name for the manufacturer (www.impulsenational.com) is up for sale. This is a shame, because Green Genie XL Red Vein Kratom is easily the most stimulating kratom I’ve sampled yet. While other brands may have it beat in terms of analgesic and relaxing qualities, Green Genie XL is a unique kratom experience well worth seeking out. 

Kratom is described by many sources as “stimulating in small amounts, and relaxing in larger doses”, though kratom’s “stimulating” properties are often overblown.  Most brands provide little more appreciable perkiness than the average cup of coffee before they transition into more pain-relieving and calming effects.

I have to admit to a bit of skepticism regarding Green Genie XL Red Vein Kratom Capsules before sampling it. This isn’t a brand with a huge web presence, and of the few online retailers that sell it, it’s not featured prominently (Super Fun Cave, which provided the sample, currently has it listed in their “bargain bin” section). Green Genie’s packaging was fairly nondescript: four large gel tabs displayed in a plastic clamshell pack, with the faint impression of a bald Mr. Clean-looking genie and kratom leaves against a green background. The instructions are woefully vague: they recommend no more than 2 doses within a 24 hour period, though they don’t specify how many capsules comprise a single dose.

kratom boulders

‘kratom boulders’

Given that I take kratom semi-regularly and have a fairly good tolerance for the stuff, I wasn’t too concerned about taking too much. Whenever I receive gel tab samples, I have to crack them open and examine the contents, to satisfy my curiosity about the consistency and smell of the kratom inside. In the case of Green Genie XL Red Vein Kratom, the Mitragyna speciosa inside the capsules was very chunky, and formed neat little kratom boulders where the powder had congealed at the tips of the caps. The powder wasn’t too finely-ground; it was strewn with sizeable clumps and resembled shredded alfalfa from a health food store. For your consideration, I’ve included a picture featuring a side-by-side comparison of powdered kratom from Kratom Therapy Superior Malaysian capsules and the Green Genie XL Red Vein Kratom Capsules. Even though the camera phone picture isn’t too sharply-focused, the differences in consistency between the two brands should be pretty apparent.

Then there was Green Genie’s smell, which was—even by kratom standards—particularly acrid. At this point, I was beginning to feel a little wary about ingesting this stuff. Though my worst experience with kratom thus far was one brand that slightly impaired my focus, I had read about some shady, fly-by-night kratom operations lacing their products with deleterious additives and/or paying no heed whatsoever to quality controls. By swallowing this mysterious Green Genie kratom powder, was I risking a gut full of dog hair, weird synthetic chemicals, or some antibiotic-resistant strain of bacteria? It was too late; I had released this genie from its bottle, and as an intrepid WLK guinea pig and reviewer, it was my job to inform my fellow kratom enthusiasts about this products merits and risks. I dumped the powdered contents of four Green Genie capsules into my mouth, and quickly gulped 12 ounces of water to ease its passage down my throat.

Luckily, Green Genie didn’t taste anywhere as pungent as it smelled. Maybe I’m just becoming accustomed to the bitter flavor of powdered kratom, but I’ve tried some brands that tasted like the time I accidentally got a bit of Lemon Pledge in my mouth; Green Genie XL Red Vein Kratom Capsules actually tasted pretty mild. In roughly ten minutes, I felt alert, focused, energetic, and more-than-slightly euphoric (this can probably be attributed to a nearly-empty stomach, and ingesting the powder without the gel tabs, which usually take about 10-15 minutes to digest). The stimulating effect was the equivalent effect of about 3 cups of strong coffee, though with no jitters or edginess. After 30 minutes, nearly all aches, pains, and other sources of discomfort had faded from consciousness. By the 2 hour mark, the stimulating effects had subsided into a pleasant, relaxed sense of well-being.

Though I wouldn’t rate the overall effects as highly as those imparted by Divinity or Kratom Therapy Red Dragon caps, Green Genie XL Red Vein Kratom worked more than adequately, and distinguished itself as the most stimulating kratom I’ve sampled yet. It’s too bad that the manufacturer may have gone belly-up as of this writing, as Green Genie is a truly unique kratom product, and I’ll happily recommend that my fellow kratom aficionados give it a try (that is, if I don’t buy up Super Fun Cave’s remaining stock of it first).

PROS:
-fast-acting
-notably stimulating without diminishing focus
-effectively pain-relieving and relaxing
-mildly euphoric

CONS:
-the kratom powder smells a bit odd

2 pings

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